Hurray for Cisco
I post enough complaints in this section, so it’s time for a cheer: Cisco tech support rocks.
I bought a new Pix-501 firewall yesterday. I previously had a cheapo consumer Linksys BEFSR11, and I haven’t done any serious network configuration since 1992. It’s become more complex, apparently.
So I installed the firewall, and it mostly worked, but I couldn’t make outbound web requests. Called tech support, filed a
etwork down" ticket, and within a few minutes, got a delightful callback from Ciel P. She walked me through setting up the Pix to grant her access, then proceeded to ssh into it, configure my network for me, and call me back 10 minutes later to tell me it was done and verify that it worked. She then sent a followup e-mail, detailing what had changed. Plus, she was friendly, funny, and knowledgeable. What more can you ask for?
Audi: More than just a VW
I’ve owned an Audi since 1996, always financed through Audi Financial Services (also known as VW Credit). I bought my S4 in 2000, leased it for three years, then purchased it outright last July. For the past week, I’ve been getting two calls a night with no caller ID; it always rings once and then hangs up, whether or not I pick up the phone. I checked into Verizon’s Unlawful Call Center but it turns out that while repeated obscene calls are considered harassment and thus illegal, repeated hangups are merely “unwanted” and thus not worth of attention.
Finally, tonight, they left a message. It’s Audi Financial Services, calling to let me know that I owe them money for personal property taxes they paid in 2003. Only they can’t tell me how much money, because I only leased the car for the first seven months of 2003, so they have to wait for Massachusetts to respond to their request for a tax abatement.
Let’s recap. Audi has been calling at dinnertime twice every night since June 4th to collect on my debt, but has been hanging up without telling me about the debt, which I would be happy to pay but which they can’t collect on until they can tell me how much I owe them, which they won’t know for several weeks.
Welcome to Audi. We put the “Q” in “service”.
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Macromedia: Physician, heal thyself!
I tried to order DreamWeaver from Macromedia’s web site today. It would not accept any of my credit cards; I ended up having to place the order over the phone. The rep implied that this was a common problem; their order-processing system is, in her words, “incredibly picky”.
That’s right: The company that sells one of the most popular commercial web back-ends can’t properly take a credit card order.
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119BRT: Going, going...
There’s a building next to the Mass Pike, with a huge (and expensive!) banner for their management company, 119BRT, that’s just been dangling in strips from the windows all winter. Now, that’s technically not a consumer issue, but it does call for a snarky interview e-mail, so your intrepid Shopwatch reporter is on the case:
As you no doubt know, the beautiful banner you’ve had hanging from the side of the building started to come apart several months ago, and at this point it’s nearly completely fallen and shredded.
1. Since that banner’s purpose is to tout your building’s availability to potential clients, would you say that you’re attempting to project a flexible, contemplative, hands-off approach to building management?
2. What one word sums up your maintenance philosophy?
UPDATE 4/7/05: Got a pained, earnest reply from a Michael Blank there this morning. Ten points for a quick and honest response, even though I’m just some shmoe. Minus 50 for leaving the banner up all winter. You know the first thing an airline does after a plane crash? Paint over the logo.
Jay, thank you for your response to our banner situation… We are removing it this weekend. The fact that it has taken so long to repair is a function of triaging 60+ projects currently in progress at the premises. We take great pains to be as responsive as possible no matter where or how a request originates.
I almost feel bad now for teasing them. It’s rough running a renovated building – don’t I know it! Oh, wait, but they’re a business, and they’re there to make a profit and serve customers. OK, then. Fair game.
Oh, and here’s a pic:

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Barnes and Noble: Add this book to your trash bin
I’ve been using Barnes & Noble’s web site to order books for as long as I can remember. Amazon was big, and evil, and patented obvious ideas, and spammed so much they earned the nickname “Spamazon”. B&N was corporate, for sure, but was usually the good guys. I used to use Powell’s, but Barnes and Noble bought them.
Any time I see a book that sounds interesting, I add it to my wish list, and then when I hit $25, I order, and get free shipping. Sounds like a good deal. But yesterday, I added two books to my wish list, and an hour later, I added a CD – and it was the only item in my wish list!
I talked to Melvin in technical support (who, by the way, sounded just like a Melvin ought to sound). He told me that I must not have been signed in to my account, in which case, “Add item to my wish list” does absolutely nothing. Nothing? Well, then, shouldn’t they remove the button when I’m not signed in? Melvin replied, “Well, that would take graphics,” at which point I asked to speak to a supervisor. We got off to a rocky start.
“Hi, this is Sabrina.”
“Hi! What’s your last name?”
“I’m a supervisor at Barnes & Noble.com.”
“Wow, that’s quite a long last name, Sabrina.” [Swear to God, I said that.]
It turns out that her last name is actually Rivera, and her direct number is 201-272-4222. She told me that if I’d just read the help text, I’d have known to sign in. Well, the help text says that the wish list will only be seen on my computer. Check – I’m on the same computer. And it says that it’s stored temporarily. Check – I was only gone an hour. Could temporarily mean an hour? Sure could, says Sabrina. In fact, it could even mean only 15 minutes!
So if I press a button that says “Add to my wish list,” and I come back 20 minutes later, and the book’s not on my wish list, that sounds like a working design to you? “Yes.”
How long is the timeout, exactly? “Temporary.” Yes, we’ve established that. But surely somebody at B&N actually knows. Sabrina says that the web designers would know, recommends that I call the switchboard, at 212-414-6000, and they’ll be able to help me. So I can talk right to a web designer? “No, but if you ask your question, they’ll be able to help you.” Who will I be asking? “The person who answers the phone.” So a receptionist can answer this technical question? “No, but they can transfer you to someone who can help.” Wouldn’t they just transfer me back to customer support? “No, they wouldn’t transfer you here.” Wouldn’t they tell me to hang up and call you? “No,” she said hopefully.
Skeptical, I call the switchboard, and tell the operator my woes. I don’t get her name, but she fakes a pass, and just transfers me right back to the receptionist queue. Chicken. Mary answers this time, and sounds as surprised as I was by Sabrina Rivera’s recommendation. “I can’t help you!” she says, helplessly. She scratches her head, and eventually transfers me to the voicemail of Kelly. (Shopwatch corollary to rule #1: If you do return calls, and you’re not an idiot or a jerk, your contact info doesn’t get published!)
Kelly called me back from “Quality Assurance” – not the software testing group, but the management feedback group. She said that “add to wishlist”, when not signed into an account, does not, in fact, add the item to your wishlist, despite the fact that it then displays “Your Wishlist” and shows the items on it. She thought that this info might be under Help; when I said that it wasn’t, she conceded that “we can’t list every single detail.” Couldn’t you just not show the button if it’s not going to work? “That gets more into the technical scope.”
But Kelly, if you clicked “Add item to wishlist”, and it said that your item had been added to a wishlist, wouldn’t you expect that it had been, you know, added to a wish list? “Of course!” She suggested that as a workaround, every time I added something to my wish list, I could go up to the “Account” menu and make sure I was signed on. I thanked her for her suggestion, but pointed out that as a better workaround, every time I wanted to add something to my wish list, I could go to Amazon and just order the thing with one-click.
So that’s what I’m going to do.
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Verizon: Press 0 to be told to press 0
I sent the following e-mail to Thomas Pica, the press contact for Verizon Wireless, on 2/19/05. He did not answer. The first rule of Shopwatch: If you don’t answer, your e-mail address gets published.
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1. According to your press center, 393,000 customers call Verizon Wireless every day. When they do, depending on what call center they connect to, they may hear this message: “All representatives are currently assisting other customers at this time” (emphasis mine). My question: Have you ever seen such a perfect example of the distinction between “redundant” and “superfluous”?
2. This morning (Saturday), I called Verizon Wireless customer service at 611, and after pressing 0 to speak to a representative, I was told “Press 0 to speak to a representative.” After pressing 0 to speak to a representative, I was told “Press 0 to speak to a representative.” My question: Have you read Kafka’s “The Prisoner”?
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UPDATE: There is no Kafka story called “The Prisoner”. There is “In the Penal Colony”, but it was “The Trial” I was thinking of.
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