Parapoetica

Baby Kooshes!

So ugly, they’re cute.

From LiewCF.com via Boing Boing

Today’s Globe wins the prize for the most convoluted story lead I’ve ever read:

A federal prosecutor yesterday urged a judge to reject a request by the media to lift a protective order that forbids the release of evidence that the government has turned over to defense lawyers in its perjury case against former House speaker Thomas M. Finneran.

Judge urged to reject perjury case request

UPDATE: Apparently the Globe is just asleep at the keys today. In other stories, we had:

• Homocide detectives
• A teacher who received $60,ooo in contributions (somebody grew up on a typewriter, eh?)

Oh, and mad-but-dubious props to Adam for his stet pun.

At the start of class one day, my mix professor’s bag fell four feet from the counter to the floor. We all sort of looked at each other, and someone said “That can’t be good.”

His laptop was in a padded sleeve, though, so we assumed it was okay. What we hadn’t counted on was the Digidesign Mbox in the next compartment. This little device has two pointy feet, and one pointed right into the laptop when it fell. It made a dent in the titanium lid of the Powerbook, and shattered the screen.

Here’s what it looked like:

The Walt Disney Corporation declared today that Pluto is no longer a dog, downgrading its status to a two-dimensional cartoon character.

via Tom Keane

Greetings, esteemed committee members of the Top Secret No Dorks Allowed Clubhouse.

I have a small facilities update. As was brought up in our last “town hall” meeting, several members are unhappy with the new merry-go-round. (Speaking of the meeting: Kudos to the twins, Dustin and Justin, for nabbing their mom’s hidden stash of Double-Stuf Oreos. I nominate them for the Heroic Catering award.) Although the Dada-inspired paint scheme is more aesthetically pleasing and play-inspiring than the old brown-and-green palette, and we certainly appreciate the molded seats – except Ollie, ha ha! – many of us feel that the initial and sustaining forces required to turn the merry-go-round are excessive. As promised, I brought in several engineering firms on a sealed-bid project to investigate, with the winner, WSP Cantor Seinuk, providing experienced engineers from both their London and New York offices.

The full PDF is available in the archives, but let me summarize the results: it seems that someone may be utilizing our collective kinetic energy to power a public waterworks, in violation of the Keating Owen Child Labor Act. We will be investigating further tomorrow, at midnight – meet at the knotty oak next to the merry-go-round. Bring flashlights, shovels, and sweaters – it’s cold outside. No girls or dorks allowed. I cannot attend, since I’m not allowed to cross the street after dark, but I will be available by cell phone.

Boing Boing: Water pump driven by kids’ roundabout

I’m going on a weekend trip to Mount Snow. I just checked out the web site of the lodge we’re staying at, and found this copy:

Opened in 1964 and located near the base of Mount Snow, Snow Lake Lodge provides the ambience of a traditional ski lodge of a bygone era for the more budget conscious visitors to our resort.

Yes, kids, somebody went to euphemism school. Hey, let’s look at that again:

Opened in 1964 and located near the base of Mount Snow, Snow Lake Lodge provides the ambience of a traditional ski lodge of a bygone era for the more budget conscious visitors to our resort.

I hope there is some traditional, ambient air conditioning, or I will be bygone to the nice hotel across the lake.

From the files…

February, 2002, sign in a Medford convenience store window:

NEW’SPAPERS FOR SALE

Jean-Paul Sartre’s taken up UI design. Seen on the ATM at the end of Newbury street:

ENTER TO EXIT

Kerry Campaigner: Hi, would you like to help elect John Kerry?

Me: No. But I see no other choice.

I went downstairs to get some breakfast this morning, and heard an unusual amount of honking for the hour. A quick peek down the road showed the cause: A tractor-trailer had double-parked on Devonshire Place. He didn’t seem to be making a delivery; the trailer was closed, and the driver was just sitting in the tractor, with a vacant stare.

That wouldn’t be so unusual; trailers often have to double-park in Boston. What’s unusual is that, not counting the parking spaces, Devonshire’s only about as wide as, say, a tractor-trailer. Also, it’s a major southbound route.

What can I say? Maybe it was time for his nap.