Parapoetica

John Durkin, the Internet sales person at JD, left me a friendly, concerned voicemail last month that I’m only just now getting around to returning. (My computer died, and I could not seem to build a working one. Who do I call for tech support? Four, count’em, four dead components later…) Turns out he’s been out with pneumonia as well.

When I reached him today, he was just heading out to lunch with his department, but we had a nice conversation, and I think, as he put it , that two reasonable people can always come to a resolution. Both John and Ron Dubin, the CFO, would like to reach an agreement on this—and I’d like nothing more than to get some closure, and feel that I made the right choice buying the car from Jack Daniels Motors.

We’ll hopefully talk today or Tuesday. I think there’s hope here.

Got Jack Daniels Motors horror stories of your own, buying or servicing your Audi, VW, or Porsche? Post a comment here!

I got a call today from Bret’s supervisor, Nahed B. She was supposed to call me last Thursday, between 2 and 3pm; she says that she called my cell phone, and got a message that it had been disconnected. Well, yes, if you call the cell phone I used to have in Virginia five years ago, you’re going to find that. (Pause) “Okay. I am sorry about that.” By the way, I’m now recording these calls (legally, with notice), so from here on in, anything in quotes is verbatim.

She was much more sympathetic than Bret had been. She agreed that the car should not have been certified until the keys were found, and was astounded at the dealer’s lack of response: “You shouldn’t be getting this treatment from a dealership!” she exclaimed several times. On that, we agree.

She was also interested to know that, so far as I know, Jack Daniels has not disputed that the tires were bad. They’ve only declined to help me.

That’s the good part. The bad part is that, despite the sympathy and righteous indignation she felt for me, she didn’t sound authorized to actually do anything more than Bret could. All she can do is call the dealer and advocate on my behalf. But it’s too early to re-argue that point; she still thinks she can get somewhere with Jack Daniels Motors. Well, she can try.

I told her what my expected resolution was. At least, I tried to tell her, but she was more interested in getting off the phone. Nonetheless, I believe I managed to present these terms:

• I’m willing to split the cost of tires and wheels with the dealership—that is, I’d accept $700, not $1400. (I’m feeling generous today. That can’t last.)
• I want the key adaptation done here, not in NJ.
• I want JD, Audi, or somebody to pay for my car to be inspected here for any of the points covered by the CPO warranty—not the original CPO inspection, but merely any of the things that would be covered IF they went wrong.
• I did not get to mention the steering-wheel logo, as she was rushing me off the phone.

In other words, I have now significantly, though temporarily, lowered my demands for resolution. And she’s going to call me back in 24-48 hours. Let’s see if this honey catches a fly.

Amy from Audi called today; Nahed had referred my case to her. Apparently, my case finally got the executive attention it deserves, and they’re not taking any prisoners this time. See what a little blogging can do? You’ll never guess what Audi of America has in store for Jack Daniels Motors. In fact, Amy called to let me know that the first step has been taken, a step that cannot be reversed, a step of such monumental import that it fills me with tears and pride to know it was done on my behalf:

+She left Frank a voicemail.+

OK. To be fair, she did promise that she would try Frank every day this time, or even twice daily, rather than once a week. Her plan is to be “tenacious.” And she did promise that, if necessary, she would be able to escalate past the dealer to the regional manager. But she has to give them another “opportunity” first.

I never posted an ending to this tale, and that’s unfair to the folks at Jack Daniels Motors. If you’re going to write a complaint blog, you have a responsibility to cover the story well, and I dropped the ball.

Back at the beginning of the year, the CFO of the Jack Daniels staff contacted me. Jack Daniels himself had been reading the blog, and wanted to settle the issue. We agreed to split the cost of the tires, and they agreed to give me a free top-to-bottom inspection the next time I was in their area, which I expected would be early spring, as well as installing the S6 steering-wheel logo and making me a new coded key. In exchange, I would post an update to the site.

Spring came and went, I swung by New York but with no time to call JD, and the rest of my life took precedence. I never collected on the offer, and at this point I don’t intend to – if Jack Daniels wishes, they can donate my $700 to the charity of their choice, and I’ll blog about it here.

But let the record show: It took a little prodding, but in the end, Jack Daniels was willing to stand behind their sale. Audi of America, on the other hand, never responded to my letters to their executives, nor to my A.G. complaint.

Lesson learned: The Audi dealership network is a loose association of affiliates, not a centrally managed group. Even when buying a certified preowned vehicle, It’s always best to buy at a dealer close enough that you won’t mind returning for service. I would still hold AoA responsible for their brand promise, but demanding responsibility is different than expecting it. I no longer expect it. And that’s sad.